


Implosion

by SarcasticDragon



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Making Up, Post-Movie 1: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Resolved Argument Prompt Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 13:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20797115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticDragon/pseuds/SarcasticDragon
Summary: Tina Goldstein is a stubborn, proud Auror. She doesn’t let anyone get under her skin...until an embittered Newt has had enough, and she realizes she isn’t as strong as she thought. No more holding it back; he has to know the truth before it’s too late for them both.





	Implosion

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Speed of Pain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11675307) by [KatieHavok](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieHavok/pseuds/KatieHavok). 

> (This is inspired by Chapter 3 of KatieHavok’s phenomenal fic, [“The Speed of Pain.” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11675307/chapters/26276013) If you haven’t read it, be sure to read it first. I wondered what would have happened if Tina finally had cracked under the added strain of Newt's exhausted patience, so here’s my wee little take. Thanks, Katie, for letting me play in your sandbox.)

Newt is nearly back in control of himself by the time he gets back to his shed. He wipes his wet face with a few swipes of his sleeve, unbuttons his vest, and pitches it on a nearby chair, then whips his tie from under his collar and tosses it aside. He leans on the counter, fingers gripping the old wood until his knuckles are white, grinding his teeth until his jaw aches.

Stubborn, unrelenting woman…all it would have taken were three little words; why, _why_, wouldn’t she take that step? Why must she make it so difficult?

And then the doubt starts, just like he knew it would; a niggling little worm of doubt, crawling into the recesses of his brain with its little darts of poison. _Was it really all her fault, old son? You could have spoken up. Why didn’t you say something yesterday? Last night? No, instead you had to dump it in her lap, didn’t you?_

He swallows at the rush of thoughts. Merlin’s beard, in a minute he would be running back to the field to apologize for his churlish behavior.

No! He shook his head sharply, fringe flapping. He’d made his point, he had to learn to stand by his principles. This time, by thunder, she was going to be the one to come to _him_…and if she didn’t, well at least he was in the right.

Wasn’t he?

He frowns suddenly. Why is he sounding like his father? Does he really want to follow in those footsteps?

_S__he’s leaving soon, _the doubt-worm whispers. _Are you going send her off to the front lines and let those words be the last memory she has of you?_

That is all it takes. The conflict within him shifts and remorse blossoms in his chest, battering aside his lofty perseverance to claw painfully at the back of his throat, and he sets his teeth in his bottom lip, biting until he tastes blood. His already-burning eyes sting anew as his overactive imagination helpfully supplies a mental image of dark-uniformed Aurors at his door, bearing word of the battle that had taken her from him, and the last thing he’d told her was that she, _she,_ was the reason both of them were destined to live in a haze of pain and indecision.

Creatures. Feeding the creatures will distract him, it has to distract him, he can't continue with this...He picks the tin feed bucket up from the floor and slams it on the counter, rummaging through the mess to find his cleaver. Where is the cleaver…he needs to chop something, anything; he needs to pound on something until his knuckles bleed, _anything_ to keep him from the remorseless, incessant chaos in his head. Items tumble and fly as he shoves them aside, harder and harder until finally he sweeps his arm across the surface with a snarl, sending it all, bucket included, crashing to the floor.

Dammit, _where_ was the bloody fucking cleaver? Did he take it upstairs to clean it? Yes! Yes, that must be it - He grabs at the excuse like a life raft and he’s already moving, running from the shed, from his pummeling indecision.

His feet are on the first rungs of the ladder when something grabs his shoulder and yanks him from behind, sending him spinning across the room. He flails and regains his balance, turning in surprise, only to freeze in place at the sight of Tina as he’d never seen her before – clothing crumpled and hair tangled; streaming, reddened eyes staring and mouth open in a shuddering, silent cry of torment; tear-stained, vulnerable, utterly broken, and not even _trying_ to hide any of it. The sight is so unbelievable that he is stunned into silence, simply gaping at her.

“All right, you - now you listen to me,” she grinds out emphatically in a shaking, watery voice that pierces his lacerated heart. "I. Love. You. Are you happy now? Did that - did that fix everything?"

“U-um –” he manages, but she points at him with a trembling finger, silencing him.

“Shut up!" she snarls. "_I'm_ talking now, _I'm_ talking, all right? You had your say, now it's MY turn!" She swallows noisily and lowers her voice. "Newt, it's - I - I love you, all right? I love you, I _adore_ you! Morrigan, how can you even think I don’t? No, don't answer that, I know why you don't." She swipes her trembling hand across her face. "God, I suck at this. I speak best in action too, you know. I’ve shown it just like you – or at least I thought I have, but apparently I haven't, and - it’s not enough, is it? It’s just never enough! And I’m sorry, I’m sorry I am such a miserable fucking coward that I couldn’t say it out loud, like you needed to hear it.” She is hugging herself, sobbing without restraint, tears and snot mingling on her swollen face.

“_No_,” he whispers in anguish, appalled at this breakdown, agonized at knowing he was the cause, “Tina, no. Love, please stop –” but she doesn’t stop, she talks right over him. He starts forward, reaching for her, and her pointing finger becomes a palm-up halting gesture.

“No, don’t! I’ve got to get this out, damn it, I’ve – !” She stumbles over the words and takes a skittering gasp, a sound that punches through his gut. “Listen, just listen! I’ve – I’ve loved you almost from the first, and I came here because – because I can’t stand the thought of being without you. So here I am, and I love you, I love you so much, I need you, and I’m –” Her voice cracks, and she hides her face in her hands, shaking. “Oh, God. God, I’m so – I’m terrified.”

He can't stand it. The tears that have been welling in his eyes for the past half hour spill over as he takes another step toward her, but she is so wrecked she backpedals clumsily, nearly falling into the wall as she struggles to find the words.

“I _want_ to talk - to talk to you,” she stammers, “I want to tell you everything, where I’m going and what I’m doing, but I _can’t!_ All I can tell you is that they’re sending me – God, I’m – I’m scared, Newt, I'm so scared. I’m not supposed to be, but I’m _sick_ with it, I’m so frightened I can hardly stand it, I can’t sleep, I’m – and – and I love you, Newt, I needed to tell you, I needed to be with you so I – so I could – no, _no, _let me finish, stay there, please stay there!”

“_No_,” he retorts huskily, "no, I will not." In three large steps he quickly crosses the floor and pulls her into his arms, and he holds her tightly against him as she completely comes apart against his chest, his cheek nuzzling the top of her head, his own tears falling unheeded into her hair. His brave, proud girl; he can’t stand to see her brought so low, and he feels such a pang as he realizes the part he had in bringing her there.

“I love you,” she wails into his neck. “I love you, Newt. I love you so much.”

“I know you do, my darling,” he soothes, stroking her head where he knows it aches so. “My brave, beautiful darling. I love you too. Always have, always will.” He kisses her swollen face, rocking her as she continues to sob. “Shhh...Hush, now. I’m here, love. Hold on to me. I’ve got you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. I’ve been watching too many angsty Eddie Redmayne movies.


End file.
